Many top divorce attorneys in NYC are quick to label themselves as “aggressive”. But is aggression really a quality a person should look for in their divorce attorney when going through a divorce? I don’t think so. In fact, I think that divorce and family lawyers perceived as aggressive should be avoided at all costs. Yes, even if your spouse wants to fight until the end of time and hires one of these super aggressive divorce lawyers that love nothing more than to bicker and litigate over everything while they submit their hourly bills, you are still better off finding divorce attorneys in NYC that are strategic and smart instead of an aggressive. Here is why:
When a couple is going through a divorce, it’s very much like a fire breaking out. The fire has the power to consume everything you love, destroy your property, displace you from your home, effect the lives of your children, and often make you feel like you are fighting for your life. Sometimes the fire can be quickly isolated and extinguished in time to cause minimal damage. The other times, the fire can get out of control, spread quickly and burn everything in its way. Divorce lawyers and family attorneys are the firefighters. We get retained to protect our clients, their property, and their future from the damaging flames of the divorce fire.
Firefighter will tell you that the key factors in dealing with a fire is to be smart, properly assess the situation, match the right firefighting measures to the type of a fire you are fighting, and remain calm and collected. Another words, you have to use your head and proper strategy. The efforts also have to be properly coordinated between all firefighters and the workload has to be properly coordinated. Same can easily be applied to going through a divorce. When divorce lawyers arrive on the scene of divorce, we must first asses the situation and figure out what kind of a divorce it’s going to be. Then we have to figure out the right strategy for the given divorce situation and apply proper measures to minimize the damage and protect our clients. In order to truly help people effected by divorce, divorce attorneys and family lawyers have to cooperate and organize a joint effort to contain the damage that uncontrolled emotions and litigation can inflict on the parties and their families. Top divorce attorneys in NYC will always act professional, use their experience, and know how to properly deal with various issues that arise in divorce.
Aggression has no place in this process. Aggressive legal representation can easily cloud sound judgement and shift the focus from the clients and their interests to feeding the divorce attorney’s personal ego. Even among top divorce attorneys in NYC, there are many who get so hung up on winning in litigation that they forget that it’s not their lives that are effected by their actions and choices. It’s not the attorney’s house that caught the divorce fire and not their family that has to deal with the aftermath. Best divorce lawyers understand that their job is not to pour more gasoline into the burning fire of divorce, but to try to deal with the divorce as quickly as possible isolating the issues and helping the sides to work through them. Aggression, is counterproductive to this process.
Now I’m not saying that you have to back down from a fight and roll over if you are being pushed around and your client is not being treated fairly. Litigating and fighting must be done carefully and smart. Divorce attorneys have to calculate which battles to fight and where, when and how much pressure to apply. Sometimes, a strong litigation position is needed to make the parties see the bigger picture. Decisions to proceed with litigation must be made for the right reasons with the understanding of all pros and cons. Both divorce lawyers and their clients must exercise restraint and act with respect for the destructive force that litigation can have on the divorce process, the parties and their families. There is a difference between strong and smart representation and aggression that is inconsiderate of the best interests of the family going through a divorce.
Top divorce lawyers in NYC will tell you that divorce is a dangerous fire. You don’t fight fire by igniting more fires or pouring gasoline on the hot flames. A divorce lawyer’s job is to get everyone out of the fire safe. That includes children, if any, and also the other spouse. Why the other spouse, not just that your client? Because often, it will be in the best interest of your client to deal fairly with the former spouse and act in good faith in order to save your client from a prolonged and expansive process and emotional turmoil. Good divorce lawyers will help isolate the fire and keep it from spreading further, protect property and assets from damages, and ultimately extinguish all of the divorce flames. To do this, you don’t need to be aggressive. You need to smart and experienced. You also need cooperation, which is obtained by respect and candidness.
