The Tipping Point: When do you realize your marriage is actually over according to divorce lawyer in NY.

I see what goes on behind closed doors in clients’ homes.  I do not see the initiating of the fights or the constant battling which clients endure on a daily basis.  Nor do I witness the after effect once the fighting ends –pieces of a marriage and family, both of which were once happily built together, now left in ruins.

At what point do clients realize that their marriage is over?  From the perspective of a divorce lawyer in NY, often times I meet clients after they come to realize and accept that their marriage is over.  For some, it took years to accept and move forward with separating, citing various reasons as to why they waited.  In most cases, when clients wait years to file, it is usually because they do not want to disturb the ‘normalcy’ of their children’s lives.  In other cases, clients cannot accept change – and instead fall into a droning routine with their spouse.  Years later they realize they are in a dull and lifeless marriage, with nothing in common with their spouse.

There are other clients who make an appointment with us the moment things go awry with their spouse.  They are quick to move forward with changing their state because they cannot thrive in an uncomfortable living situation –and need to make a change fast.
The truth of the matter is, it is difficult to pinpoint the exact moment your marriage is irretrievably broken.  In New York, the (now) antiquated grounds for divorce could have been used as a marker for when a marriage has actually ended.  Parties were once required to plead grounds such as adultery, cruel and inhuman treatment, constructive and actual abandonment in their complaint, and would have to cite factual instances in support of their application to obtain a divorce from their spouse.

If there was any common denominator for me as a divorce lawyer in NY in trying to ascertain when a marriage is over, it is when a party realizes that he or she is better off alone than together with his or her spouse.