I’ve practiced divorce and family law for years. When holidays come around, being a divorce lawyer in New York is no easy business.
I’ve heard many people describe the Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthday and wedding ceremonies they’ve had to attend without the ex-spouse who used to be at their side during these events. They tell me how painful it feels to keep explaining why they’re not with their husband-or-wife — or, even worse, to be without a companion when the ex-spouse shows up with a new partner. New York can be such a great place to be for the holidays, but that can certainly change if you are dealing with divorce or family law issues.
It’s obvious that the holidays would be difficult for anyone who is unable to see their friends and family. Many of my colleagues who are also divorce lawyers in New York agree that the lesser-known fact is that being surrounded by close friends and loving family at a joyous celebration can make some of us feel worse than being alone … those of us who are in the stages of divorce.
People who are going through a divorce, or have recently gone through one, can take steps to prepare themselves against feeling heightened stress during the holidays. Going trough divorce or family issues with someone during the holidays may subject you to this feeling. What you need to remember is that feelings do change. Time is the best doctor to mend a broken heart and fix a broken home. Ask any divorce lawyer in New York or beyond, they will agree.
During the holidays, we are surrounded by images of people getting together with family and friends. News, advertisements, TV and movies all send the same message. They remind us that our connection to other people is the most precious thing we have. For someone who has to deal with losing a connection to the one person they loved and cared about deeply, this can be very challenging. After going through many holiday seasons as a divorce lawyer in New York, I will not sugar coat this for you and say it’s a walk in the park. No, it’s terrible. Having to see happy families around Christmas trees, couples in front of a fire place, and endless smiles everywhere when your life is so far from this right now, is no easy task. But there is one good thing about going through a divorce during holidays that you should keep your focus on to get you through this. This is the end of the year, and the end to the part of your life that made you unhappy is on its way. You will wake up one morning with excitement and joy that you can now start living the rest of your life the way you want to. That morning may not be December 25th, but it will probably come before the next holiday season.
The best advice I can give you as a divorce lawyer in New York is to remember that there is growth and change ahead. And every ending is a beginning of something new. Eleanor Roosevelt, when asked how she accomplished so many great achievements in her lifetime, put it very simply: “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really do the thing which you think you cannot do.”
